Sitting Around the Campfire

This will not be the last time I mention this: I am an Eagle Scout. This will also not be the last time I write about campfires. I offer my credentials as bonafides that I have sat around hundreds of campfires.

Amongst the world’s greatest known enemies - climate change, poverty, racism - is sitting downwind of a campfire. Nobody ordered a cayenne pepper s’mores. Look at this photo. 30 seconds before it was taken Goldberg was on top of the world. Then the smoke rolled in, searing his irises. True story: his eye color darkened. When we noticed it the next morning we told him - horrified, he immediately called his optometrist to get an appointment. It was the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend.

I now offer you my greatest life hack. Look up the wind forecast before picking your seat around the campfire.

Let that sink in.

Before picking up the axe. Before betting your friends it will only take 1 match to light the fire. Before ripping into the Graham Crackers*. Before any of that, type into Google “local wind forecast”. Or visit a webpage like WillyWeather. All sailors, pilots, campfire enthusiasts have it bookmarked. Or just talk to the Ranger. Figure out where it is coming from.

*you have to carefully plan when you open those packs. Once the wrapper is open you have less than 48 seconds before they go stale. A open pack of Graham’s is the only substance on the planet that has a shorter Peak-to-“Is thing 1000 years old?” time than an Avocado.

And then sit with it to your back. Or, ideally, 45 degrees off vector. That is to say, if the wind will be coming out of the North than you want to sit at the NE or NW side of the fire. All night long the smoke will be across from you. Leaving you free all night to drink and laugh and tell tales all with clear eyes. And a full heart.

There is the added bonus that the smoke will chase away any friends from sitting directly across from you where dialogue would be difficult due to the fires affect on sound waves.

See you upwind …